Is Your Spouse Stealing Your Money? ‘Affairs of The Heart’

By Rodney Anderson

In my book “CREDIT 911,’’ I coin the phrase “Affairs of the Wallet.’’ It is “sexy,’’ in sense. It speaks to your relationship, obviously. And it’s about your money – and when you combine all of that … well, “Affairs of the Wallet’’ is among the reasons I am able to say that “CREDIT 911’’ is so successful.
Another reason “Affairs of the Wallet’’ hits home?
Couples bickering about money is at an all-time high in America. Because of my position in the mortgage industry, I see the results every day. Understand, I’m not just in a front-row seat in this game. I am out there on the court like Tyson Chandler and Dirk Nowitzki and Jason Kidd, helping defend and score and assist.
The leading cause of divorce? Money issues.
The leading cause of even bickering?
You guessed it: Money issues.
Couples argue more about household finances than they did a year ago, according to a recent study. And as a result, you know what we’re seeing? Not just bickering, but dishonesty and distrust. The threat of an argument and the nature of money in America today is prompting some of these couples to sneak purchases, sock money away in a secret bank account, or keep a credit card account hidden from their spouse or significant other. This is all about something I call “Affairs of the Wallet.’’
The foundation of any relationship – with your friend, your spouse, your sweetheart, your lender – is trust.
And yet in the most trusting of all relationships, most couples—some 61 percent—admit that their conversations about the household budget are mushrooming into arguments. That’s significantly higher than what the survey said a year ago, when 45 percent of people admitted this.
Here’s another on-the-court observation: It’s happening with wealthy people, too …Notably, the trend remains even among the most affluent responders to the polls, with 56 percent saying they argue with their sweetie this year, versus 44 percent in 2010.
So it’s not rich/poor or black/white or good/bad. It’s not HIS fault. It’s not HER fault. …
It’s the economy, stupid!
It starts with the threat of a crisis. Then the argument. Then distrust … and then … the hiding of purchases from your partner. As you read this, think about it: Are you doing it? Is your significant other doing it to you?
Three in five people are admitting to buying items on the sly. … so look around in the room with you, my friend. If you’re not doing it … three of the other four people are. It’s like the old business saying that insists there is a fool in every deal: If the guy across from you isn’t a fool, the fool is you!
We can go after this problem in the micro sense: How to find out if your significant other is a sneak? Check in their closet. Thirteen percent of those surveyed said that’s where they stash the goods.
But there is a macro issue here: You need to get help! Financial help! Smart advice! I urge you to find financial tools that can guide you – and even save your relationship! – and to seek out a Thought Leader who understands what I call “Affairs of the Wallet!’’

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